Hats in The Ring

Alright. I've been meaning to blog about other things but unfortunately even thousands of kilometers away in the open sea overlooking Makassar Straits, I can't help but be swept up by the tidal waves breaking over the political landscape in Malaysia.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that some bloggers, notably Elizabeth Wong and Jeff Ooi are joining the fray. Of course it takes money to make any decent headway, especially versus GOLIATH, so please lighten your wallets --or click on Maybank2U and do what's right. See Jeff's take on "donation" in his blog and I implore you to do your part, folks.

Eli holds a special place in my political heart for her work with SUARAM and HAKAM. I've also had the pleasure of meeting her once and let's put it this way: I'm smitten! Not only that --she will be standing in my constituency of N37 Bukit Lanjan, Selangor. I posted a comment in her blog today that I was sorry that I can't vote for her, because self-proclaimed IT-savvy Malaysia has no "e-vote" system, and come polling day yours truly will be on a floating barge in the Straits of Makassar.

No matter, I'll do what I can, Eli.

Pictures of other candidates and prominent Malaysian bloggers below were captured through Mat Salo's lens. I knew these pictures sitting in my hard drive would come in handy one day, heh.

The folks that appear in the photos below I endorse 100% --not because they were once gracious enough to pose for me, but because they struck my conscience HARD.

Now go give these folks a hand!

Eli Wong and a friend from The Last Frontier

The Screenshot Man captured!

Former Two Term Bukit Bintang MP YB Wee and fellow Kelantanese friend.
The former YB will contest the Wangsa Maju parliamentary seat

A Note on the last photo. The man with the pipe is an Unmasked Zorro. The book in his hand found its way to a certain Chegu KTN in Penang, bearing our well wishes and autographs. Man in Blue is going for the Jelutong seat under the DAP banner.

©Matsalo Images 2007-2008

The Muhibbah Tag

This post is long overdue, and apologies to Chegu Naz for my belligerence and my 'slack-ness' in contributing my not-so-worthwhile thoughts to this much abused term.

I say much-abused because when someone mentions 'Muhibbah' the only thing that comes to mind is a quaint halal restaurant serving superb Chinese dishes nestled in the leafy suburb of Taman Tun, Kuala Lumpur.

I don't believe in this Muhibbah business because it's shallow. If you believe in God or even if you're a Darwinian it is a fact that your genes and mine are compatible. That's why a virile Cinapek from Kampong Cina Tring Ganu can mate with a Kikuyu tribe lass in Kenya and still cause the sperm and egg to fuse into a zygote. Why? Because we are all 100 percent genetically compatible. There is no difference at all except for some superficial skin and facial features.

Otherwise deep inside we're all the same. So it is an affront to God to say that we're different and we need to bridge this so-called divide between the races.

We're all one race. The Human Race. Period.

And I don't want to bore you about my best friend being a Cinapek (it is, actually) because since I was small I never grew out of that phase where skin color color was a factor in choosing mates to play rounders with or climb trees. In this I am lucky. I never had elder who said, "Eh, don't go into their house, ada anjing". Maybe because my grandfather who brought me up in a kampung with three mongrel dogs in the compound had something to do with it.

One of my joyous early primary school memory was this: One fine day we bundled these yelping canines into the backseat of my Atuk's Morris Minor to take to the orchard for kebun duties. The durian season was in full swing. And coming home later only to incur the wrath of my Ustazah grandmother who swore that she will never step in the car for fear of defiling herself. After that she never got in the car at all to be taken by Atuk for her Madrasah duties (she taught the Koran at a small mosque nearby). From then on she walked the two kilometers or so, and never did she step into the Morris Minor again.

So somehow the love of dogs and my early upbringing caused me to look beyond skin. Eventually I was given a lab retriever (the best there is when it comes to family dogs) with the shiniest orange coat you ever saw. It was given to me by an Estate Manager who had to leave Malaysia in a hurry and I was the lucky recipient. Not only was it a pure breed but it was also properly trained. His name was Johnny. He knew not to step into the house and where to do his business. Of course he understood commands like Sit, Roll, Fetch or Shake Hands, Johnny. The saddest day of my life was when he died of poisoning. I believed some disgruntled neighbor gave him an egg laced with the bad stuff. The neighbors in the kampong were all Malay. And this is where I admit to you that I lied (sort of) in the first few paragraphs of this posts. I am a racist. Yes, but directed against my own. From then on I view all Malays with suspicion. With Chinese or Indians I have no quarrels at all, no Sir.

Here I will relate two recent episodes in my life to illustrate my animosities towards my own kind.

Some time back my wife and and I were caught up in a traffic jam in the back lane of a major shopping area in Batu Road road. We were already late and naturally I was upset so I got out of the car and walked a few cars up to a white gleaming Pajero whose door was open. Out in front was the middle-aged Malay driver arguing with a pot-bellied Indian man with red bloodshot eyes and helmet on his head, the straps flapping, arms flailing. I also noticed an Indian girl of about five cowering by her father's Kapcai. There was no real accident, only perhaps one of the two had not given way thus giving way to name calling and fist waving until they both decide to stop their vehicles to cause this unnecessary jam.

As I surveyed the situation I instinctively 'knew' the Malay driver must have been at fault. So I got to the Indian and drew him aside amidst a slew of 'Malayu kurang ajar' and 'celaka punya Malayu' under his breath. I also thought I smelled a whiff of something . . . so the situation could get get uglier. The Malay stood there looking smug with the righteous look of someone born with a golden spade in his Bumi mouth.

I pulled out my Dunhill and offered the Indian one. I knew I had to defuse this fast. As I lighted his cigarette, he said, "Damn that Malayu driver, just because he has a big car he can do what he like and cut this way and that without looking. My daughter almost fell off."

"Aiyaa aner... relax laa. Forget about that stupid Malay. He think only he pay road tax ah? We motorcyclist also pay. Now go. But I sure give him also some shit don't worry. So next time he will think twice."

The Indian man picked up his daughter and left. The Malay driver was already in the driver's seat while I glared and mouthed 'stupid Malayu'. Again he gave me the same condescending look like he gave the Indian.

I felt good but not for the right reasons. I was able to do this because the Indian guy had assumed that I was Chinese. Now this is the closest thing to muhibbah for me since someone had looked at me but saw no color, or a wrong one.

And then not too long after something else happened at a parking lot near my house. The car park in the big hypermarket was full so cars had to circle my many times to find an empty lot. There is a protocol to these that some people care to break.

I was in my car with my mother, blinkers on while patiently waiting for a car to leave. As soon as the car exited, out of nowhere a Proton Wira swerved violently from the opposing side (wrong way as the lanes are marked one way) into the empty lot. What-tha-ff...

I honked and the passenger side opened to reveal a middle-aged Malay man. So I got out of the car and said in my colloquial Malayu, "Hoi! tak nampak kaa saya signal? Saya sudaa lamaa tunggu".

And I thought that was that but instead of apologizing (I saw a tudunged woman through the rear window in the driver's seat --the wife? First or Second?) he grew boorish and claimed he didn't see my signal at all. Which was an outright lie as my turn signals were still blinking. This was getting too much so I came nearer to the man. He menacingly jabbed a condescending Bumi finger and now I knew why.

He said, "Lu ingat lu samseng kah? Nanti saya panggil polis!" (Are you a gangster? I'll call the police!).

Now I'm really losing it (to the tune of KFC's 'Im Lovin' It').

The guy thought I was a Chinese in my shorts, blue Asadi slippers and slanty-chinky eyes. So that's why he thinks he can run roughshod over me.

So I fought back. I shouted, "Kurang ajaa . . . bodoh punya Malayu! Lu bagus reverse. . . SIKARANG!" (Uncouth stupid Malay, reverse the car . . . NOW!)

With that he meekly got in, backed out and I got my space.

About two hours later I found myself summoned to a nearby police station for questioning. Apparently he did good on his threat and called the police while I did my shopping. So when I returned to my car there was already a policemen waiting to lead me to his boss, an ASP XXX at the station. But I knew there was no harm done as there were no physical contact or damage to property. Only harsh words were exchanged.

At the station, me and the ASP eventually had a good laugh. Ironically ASP XXX was Chinese. But the ASP needed to meet me and be sure before he tore the report the idiot wrote up. Of course that coward had already left thinking of his sweet success in making my life miserable.

And what was the laugh about? ASP XXX laid out the report for me to read.

"Seorang lelaki yang berseluar pendek, di percayai keterunun Cina . . ."

The Chinese ASP said he thought we Malays had gone crazy. The guy's report stated that I called him a stupid Malay and that he was in fear of me as a gangster or Chinese triad member out to do him harm. Is this Pakcik's racist paranoia for real or what?

ASP XXX shook his head and said, "That crazy old man said you are Chinese gangster. You called him a stupid Malay. What's wrong with you all?"

And thus ends my contribution to the Muhibbah tag.

Clash of The Axes

Bought the Star today, as usual, for my morning dose of entertainment.

It's hard not to be entertained these days when you have the 'Three Tuns" - Eusoff, Dzaiddin and Fairuz --all vying to better what Larry, Curly and Moe had to offer.

And then there's the other suspects like Lingam Park and 'Starry-Starry-Nite' Tan. The latter claimed there's no point in suing anybody for defamation. He sued against the late M.G.G. Pillai (may God rests his soul) and was awarded ten million ringgits but got not a single sen from the kain pelekat wielding Columbia-trained journalist. Padan muka. Had to fork out RM 1.5 million to Messrs. Lingam Park & Co in legal fees some more. Padan lagi muka. Damn right, Vince, BAAAAD business decision. Should have left the late Sang Kancil alone.

But what really piqued my interest lay a few pages ahead.

Entertainment aside, and about Tun D "hating" his former boss Tun E --ho hum--what's new? -- there is a more serious and pressing concern that ails the state of the "real entertainment" industry, in particular live acts this coming March 15. Is this before or after BN's landslide win and Khairy's first foray into the Parliament of Whores? Who cares?

The real issue here for music fanatics is WHO to see on March 15.

Toto performs on March 15 night, and today The Star reported that Pineapple Concerts, helmed by Razman Tan Sri Ahmad Razali, has another mega-concert on that date. The 12-hour music-fest is dubbed "Sunburst KL International Music Festival". Read the report here:

My, this is gonna pose a problem. This, in my opinion is a bigger cause for headache since UMNO's Team A / Team B faction.

R & B's phenomena John Legend, British acid jazz proponents Incognito, hard rock's Incubus and George Clinton's Funkadelic are all set to appear on four specially constructed stages at the Polo Pavillion, Bukit Kiara Equestrian Resort.

Local acts to include Search, Pop Shuvit, Estranged, One Buck Short and Joe Flizzow amongst others. All fine acts for sure but I'm not going to lose sleep over these.

From across the pond the organizers are bringing in Tompi and --this is why there's going to be a clash-- GiGi!

Damn! *Dewa Budjana is gonna be pissed too. Or maybe he thinks he can finish his set early and then hop over to Cyberjaya to catch Steve Lukather!?

So which is it, you lucky BN sods (assuming of course, BN has won by a landslide and this concert is to "thank" the rakyat?) --Dewa or Steve?

*For those who are a bit ignorant when it comes to Asia's guitar 'Gods', Dewa Budjana is probably the best in what Asia has to offer. In 2005, Peter Erskine (2007 Grammy Winner) the jazz drummer for Weather Report, Diana Krall, Elvis Costello, Burt Bacharach, Rickie Lee Jones etc. produced Dewa Budjana's "Home" a solo jazz album with top L.A. session players like Dave Carpenter to excellent critical reviews. GiGi is his cari makan band.

Sweet Child O' The 60's

SOME THINGS EVEN A DEPRAVED AND DEPRIVED SWAMP MAN can't have...

I know there's so many things out there that everyone takes for granted (like KJ's ascension to premiership before turning forty is one and Ling Gump's ASSertion that yeah, that guy looks and sounds like me BUT -- is the other) because they're not in some gawd-infested swamp . . .

It's about a concert by one of the greatest bands ever to grace the planet. And it's happening right here in Cyberjaya, Bolehsaja and in two other cities in Indonesia this coming March.


Here's your chance to catch 'em, folks.

Unfortunately I have to give this a pass but hoping against hope to catch 'em in Surabaya if I can ciluk from the rig that is, but I doubt that --just as as much as I doubt Ling Gump was just tagging along. And the good Tun just happened to bump into him at the airport?

For us Sweet Child O' The Sixties I'm sure there are takers out there. I know Doc TA, Shah Cakapje and a host of other "Sixties Children" will appreciate the chance.

Go to the promoter's website here:

Leland Sklar apparently is replacing Mike Porcaro because the latter has gone on MC or something. David Paich is away in China preparing the theme song for Beijing '08. David is the vocals and songwriter behind Rosanna, Africa etc and has also won an Emmy in '74 for his work on the Ironside theme.

Here's something I lifted off the net about Lee Sklar:

". . . His very recognizable bass playing style, along with his beard, have been heard on hits by Phil Collins, Billy Cobham, Rod Stewart, Linda Ronstadt, James Taylor, Hall & Oates, Jackson Browne, Tommy Bolin, David Bowie, Ray Charles, BB King, The Doors, Peter Frampton, Aaron Neville, Lyle Lovett, to name just a few."

And then there's Greg Phillinganes on keyboards. Greg's fingerwork can be heard on anything from Stevie Wonder (who discovered him more than three decades back) to Eric Clapton, Christina Aguilera, BabyFace, George Benson, Michael Jackson (played on all the songs on Thriller --even Billy Jean), Bee Gees, Carpenters, Dionne Warwick, Paul Simon, Earl Klugh, Chaka Khan, Anita Baker.....Gawd the list is too long! To me, his greatest feat is playing on all of Stevie Wonder's Songs In The Key of Life (1976) especially that lurrrvely Isn't She Lovely? Hal-la-maaak...

Curious, their website listed only three cities in their South East Asian stops; bypassing Thailand, Hong Kong and Singapore even. Now we know those countries got no taste laa...

The rest of their multi-city dates are in Japan and Australia.

Anybody been to Perdana Lakeview East? Is it an open-air venue? And what about the acoustics? Lucky not Stadium Negara, berdegung...

12 - Mar - 2008 Wednesday Surabaya Shangri-la Indonesia
14 - Mar - 2008 Friday Bandung Sabuga Convention Hall Indonesia
15 - Mar - 2008 Saturday Kuala Lumpor Perdana Lakeview East, Cyberjaya

So how? Ada nak gii ker?

If you post a comment and for you Toto fans out there tell me your favorite song. Tough, but mine's "Rosanna" I think. My hair (what's left anyway) stands on end everytime Jeff Porcaro's shuffle beat kicks in at the tune's intro...

N.B. In line with Ling Gump's and other recent sea-change ethical code of conduct in Bolehsaja's blogosphere, the images above were of course lifted sans permission. Whaddya expect?

Arok of Java: A Mat Salo Book Review

Arok of Java: A Book Review

Ananta Pramoedya Toer (Translated by Max Lane)

ISBN: 978-981-05-8045-2

I ADMIT OF MY IGNORANCE. Before coming to Indonesia I had only barely heard of Ananta Pramoedya Toer. He has since left us but his legacy lives on in his many books.

It was not only my loss but hundreds of millions Indonesians too since his works were banned during Suharto’s era, thus consigning his works to obscurity. Ananta had apparently written many more but most of his material were reportedly confiscated and burned.

His famed Buru Tetralogy (This Earth of Mankind, Child of All Nations, Footsteps and House of Glass –all available in Penguin Books) and Arok of Java (originally titled Arok and Dedes) was “written” during his incarceration on Buru Island between 1965 and 1980. Suharto had stationeries banned for his special prisoner and Ananta was forced to “write” the book in his head, telling and refining the story to fellow inmates. It was only after his release that he was finally able to pen his voluminous tome. His masterpieces impressed the Nobel committee enough to consider him a nominee.

To keep things in perspective, Bumi Manusia (This Earth of Mankind) was the first of Buru Tetralogy, and should be read first. Max Lane, the translator for the book was again responsible for Arok of Java, which was only recently completed and published for the first time.

Lane’s earlier translation of Bumi brought instant fame to Ananta. Lane was then a diplomat, an Australian attaché in Jakarta of the early Eighties. Due to the recognition of Ananta’s works, Lane had inadvertently invited the wrath of the Indonesian government. Lane was expelled from Indonesia becoming a persona non-grata right until Suharto's fall. Bumi was subsequently forced off the shelves, becoming one of the great tragedies of modern literature.

Set in the 13^th century Arok of Java is a novel of “early Indonesia” where Hindu Gods and Goddesses reigned. This was before Islam descended on the archipelago and told of our hero Arok of the Sudra caste, who through scholarship became a Ksatria and finally a Brahmin. Many have likened Arok to Robin Hood but it is only a superficial connection. In that era, descendants of great King Erlangga sat in Kediri and the outlying areas were controlled by appointed ‘Governors’ who had to pay tribute to the King.

The Governor of Tumapel, a vile villainous character was installed and brought back slavery that was earlier abolished by Erlangga. The Governor was of the Sudra caste who worshipped Lord Vishnu. The Brahmins, who are worshippers of Lord Siva, had lost all their influence and were confined to their temples. The subtext was the past two centuries, the Brahmins had become outcasts and no longer relevant. The precocious Arok who mastered Sanskrit at an early age grew to become a warrior; a scholar-bandit and rebel –his destiny to bring the Brahmins back to glory.

Arok had then started a campaign of resistance. He robbed the tribute coaches en route to Kediri amassing the wealth to free the peoples of slavery and suppression. The Governor was perplexed as to the hit and run losses; bringing displeasure to the King. The King was angry at the formers inability to bring order; especially when the Kingdom’s treasury was compromised.

The final straw was when the Governor, a lowly-Sudra himself who by chicanery and deceit became all-powerful, kidnapped the beautiful Dedes, a Brahmani, to make her his consort. His obsession with Dedes was his final undoing and provided the stage for Arok’s entrance.

A blurb from the book’s jacket reads: “As the rebellion spreads, it is Arok himself whom the rulers employ to suppress it . . . Thus emerges one of the epic political conspiracies of Javanese history.”

Arok is an epic saga much in the great traditions of Ramayana and Mahabharata. My only problem was in the book’s editing. There were some errors in spelling that distracted the reader. By contrast, The Buru Tetralogy, published by Penguin, was exquisitely edited. This is but a minor speck in this vast canvas of Anata’s beautiful narration.

A must read; but only after your appetite had been appropriately whetted by the brilliant This Earth of Mankind.

384 pages, excluding Introductions, Acknowledgments and Glossaries.

First published in 2007.

Edited by: Tan Chee Leng

Illustrations by: Mohamad Yusof

Horizon Books, Singapore. www.horizonbooks.com.sg